Most people who buy a vulva balm have never used one before, so the first jar comes with a fair question: how exactly do you put this on. It's simpler than it sounds, but a few details make a real difference, like how much to use and where it should stop. If you're still deciding whether you need one at all, our guide to what a vulva balm is covers that first.
This article is the full how-to. It goes step by step, explains where a balm goes and where it doesn't, and walks through the moments in the day when buyers tell us they reach for it. It also covers the one mistake that matters most: using a balm as a lubricant.
In this article
- Before the first use
- How to apply it, step by step
- Where it goes, and where it doesn't
- How much to use
- When and how often
- A balm is not a lubricant
- Small mistakes that make a balm feel worse
- When to stop and see someone
- Frequently asked questions
Before the first use
Start with a patch test, even if your skin rarely reacts. The skin of the vulva is different from the skin on your arm: researchers describe vulvar tissue as more permeable than exposed skin, and it stays warm and covered under clothing most of the day. Whatever you put there reaches a little deeper and stays in contact longer.
The home method dermatologists suggest is simple. DermNet describes a repeat open application test as putting the product twice a day on a small area of forearm skin for 5 to 10 days. If the spot stays calm, you can move on. Our article on vulva balm for sensitive skin explains how to read the test and what a reaction looks like.
Two other checks are worth a minute. Make sure the skin you plan to cover isn't broken, raw or cracked, because a balm isn't meant for open skin. And read the ingredient list for anything you already know you react to.
How to apply it, step by step
Here is the routine we suggest for Lips, our vulva balm. It works the same way for most wax and oil balms.
- Wash your hands. Clean hands are the first instruction on the Lips page, and they keep the jar clean too.
- Start with clean, dry skin. Water alone is enough for the vulva. Pat the area dry with a soft towel instead of rubbing it. If you're not sure what to wash with, our guide to washing the vulva goes through it.
- Take a pea-sized amount with a fingertip. That's less than most people expect.
- Warm it for a few seconds between two fingertips. A wax balm is firm in the jar and softens with body heat, so it spreads more easily once it's warm.
- Smooth it over the vulva and the skin around it, using light pressure. Think of the outer folds and the skin where your underwear sits.
- Massage gently until it melts in. It should leave a soft, thin layer, not a thick coat.
- Give it a minute before you get dressed, so it has time to settle into the skin.
- Close the jar after each use, so the balm stays clean.
Where it goes, and where it doesn't
A vulva balm is for the vulva and the skin around it. The vulva is the outside part: the outer and inner folds, the area around the clitoris and the opening, and the skin that meets your thighs. It doesn't go inside the vagina. Lips is for external use only, and the page asks you to avoid broken skin and mucous membranes, which are the moist inner surfaces of the body.
| Area | Use a balm here | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Outer folds of the vulva | Yes | The skin most often rubbed by clothing |
| Skin where the vulva meets the thighs | Yes | Friction from walking, sports and seams |
| Inner folds and near the vaginal opening | Outer skin only, a very thin layer | The moist surfaces just inside are mucous membranes, which the page says to avoid |
| Inside the vagina | No | External use only; it isn't a vaginal moisturizer |
| Broken, raw or cracked skin | No | Let it settle, and have it looked at if it doesn't |
| Eyes | No | The page says to avoid the eyes |
If the discomfort you're dealing with is inside the vagina rather than on the outer skin, a balm isn't the right product. That's a conversation for a doctor or pharmacist, who can suggest what's made for inside use.
How much to use
A pea-sized amount covers the whole area for most people. If it feels greasy or you can see a shine on the skin after a few minutes, you used too much. Next time, take less and spread it further.
More balm doesn't mean more comfort. A thin layer does the work: it softens the skin and helps hold moisture in. On the Lips page, the candelilla wax in the formula is described as forming a light, breathable layer that holds moisture in, and a thin layer is enough for that.
If one area feels drier than the rest, add a second small touch there rather than a bigger scoop everywhere. That keeps the layer even and light.
When and how often
Use it as often as you need it. Some people use a balm once a day, others only on days when something rubs or feels dry. The Lips page lists the usual moments: before bed, after the shower, before or after physical activity, or any time.
Here is what those moments look like, partly in buyers' own words.
Before bed. This is the moment buyers mention most. The skin has hours to settle with nothing rubbing on it. One buyer put it this way: "A little bit of this before bed and I'm comfortable again." (D., verified buyer, August 2026)
After the shower. Skin takes moisture best when it has just been washed. The American Academy of Dermatology suggests that you apply moisturizer when your skin is still damp after a shower or bath. Pat dry, wait until the area is barely damp, then apply.
Before a walk or tight clothes. Long walks and tight leggings both rub. One buyer wrote in French that she uses it « quand je suis irritée ou en prévention quand je vais marcher ou porter des vêtements serrés. » Put simply, she reaches for it when her skin feels irritated, and ahead of time on days she'll walk a lot or wear something snug (S., verified buyer, April 2025).
After physical activity. Once you've changed out of sweaty clothes and rinsed, a thin layer can make the skin feel softer again.
Only when you need it. Not everyone uses a balm daily, and that's fine. One buyer told us: "I do not use it as an everyday product, but when I need it" (M.N., verified buyer, January 2025).
A balm is not a lubricant
A balm is a moisturizer for the skin, made to sit on the outside and soften it over time. A lubricant is made for the moment, to reduce friction during sex or with a toy. They do different jobs, and swapping one for the other causes problems.
Oil matters around condoms. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warns against using oil-based products like lotion or petroleum jelly with condoms because they can cause the condom to break. Lips is made of plant oils and wax, and its page answers the condom question in these words: "it absorbs quickly, but if you use latex condoms, avoid applying right before sex. if you use condoms regularly, keep lips as a daily care product, not a pre-sex product."
If you need glide, use a lubricant made for it. Our water-based Honey lubricant, the aloe version, is compatible with latex and polyisoprene condoms and with every toy material, silicone included.
In practice, that means using Lips as part of your daily care, for example after the shower or before bed, and reaching for a lubricant when you want glide.
Small mistakes that make a balm feel worse
Using too much. A thick layer feels heavy and can rub off on underwear. A pea-sized amount is enough.
Applying it on unwashed skin after a workout. Sweat and a balm don't mix well. Change, rinse with water, pat dry, then apply.
Putting it on skin that's broken. A cut, a crack or raw skin needs time to settle, and a balm isn't made for open skin.
Using it inside. It's for the vulva and the skin around it only.
Keeping the products that may be causing the trouble. Scented soap, wipes and panty liners are common reasons the skin feels dry or irritated. A balm works better on skin that isn't being stripped every day, so it's worth dropping those first.
When to stop and see someone
Stop using any balm if you notice stinging that lasts, redness, small bumps, swelling or a new itch. Rinse with plain water, and see a doctor or pharmacist if it doesn't settle within a few days or if it spreads.
A balm is also the wrong place to start in a few situations. See a doctor if you have strong itch, itch that wakes you at night, skin that's turning white or shiny, new discharge, a change in smell, pain when you pee, or bleeding. Those need a diagnosis, and a moisturizer isn't made for them.
If you've been using a balm for a while and you're not sure it's doing anything, this checklist walks through the usual reasons. Lips comes with a 30-day satisfaction guarantee. The page says: "if lips doesn't work for you, reach out within 30 days of your first order and we'll make it right." Lips is $36 CAD ($27 USD) for a 1 oz jar, it ships free on its own in Canada and the US, and the full ingredient list is on the product page.
Frequently asked questions
How much vulva balm should I use?
A pea-sized amount is enough for most people. Warm it between your fingertips, then spread it over the vulva and the skin around it until it melts in. If the skin still looks shiny or feels greasy after a few minutes, you used too much, so take a little less next time.
Can I put vulva balm inside my vagina?
No. A vulva balm is for the outside only: the vulva and the skin around it. Lips is labelled for external use, and the page asks you to avoid mucous membranes. If your discomfort is inside the vagina, talk to a doctor or pharmacist about products made for internal use.
How often can I apply a vulva balm?
As often as you need it. Some people apply it once a day, often before bed or after the shower, and others only when something rubs or feels dry. If you notice any stinging, redness or new itch, stop using it and rinse with plain water.
Should I apply it before or after the shower?
After. Skin takes moisture best when it has just been washed and is still barely damp. Pat the area dry with a soft towel, then apply a pea-sized amount. Putting it on before the shower means most of it washes away.
Can I use a vulva balm as a lubricant?
No. A balm is a moisturizer for the outside skin, and a lubricant is made to reduce friction during sex or with a toy. If you use latex condoms, the Lips page says to avoid applying it right before sex and to keep it as a daily care product. For glide, use a lubricant made for the job.
Can I use a vulva balm every day?
Yes, if your skin is comfortable with it. Start with a patch test on your forearm for five to ten days, then use a small amount. Daily use is fine for many people, and others prefer to use it only when they need it. Stop if any irritation appears.
Sources
- Vulvar tissue is more permeable than exposed skin: Farage and Maibach, Contact Dermatitis, 2004, PubMed 15500670
- Repeat open application testing at home: DermNet, Patch tests
- Applying moisturizer on damp skin after bathing: American Academy of Dermatology, Dermatologists' tips to relieve dry skin
- Oil-based products and condom breakage: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, How to use an external condom
About this article
Written by the Peach & Cream team, based in Montréal. Published October 15, 2026. Last updated October 15, 2026. Product facts come from the Lips product page and label; buyer words are quoted exactly from verified reviews on our store. This article is general information, not medical advice. Lips does not treat or prevent any condition.